Campbell's sauce

Alastair Campbell practices smiling. A work in progress.

Dear Alastair,
You're worried about the damage alcohol is doing to this country.
Let's start with an alcohol ban at the party conferences, an end to tax-payer funded cheap booze at Westminster, and sell off the government's stash of fine wines. If the French can do it, so can we.
Your previous challenges with the bottle are the very least of your failings. The bars at The Hague are alcohol-free. You should feel at home.